


The Anomaly

by MagicaCat



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, Gen, Self Insert, Warning for implied abuse, warning for mild violence, warning for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29310228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicaCat/pseuds/MagicaCat
Summary: When Cat finds her pet investigating a sudden hole in her wall, she had no idea how interesting things were going to get. First her cat gets exchanged with a robot that looks like it came out of a nightmare, then she has to deal with a snarky alien supergenius who somehow ends up in her kitchen.Will he end up driving her crazy before he finds a way home?
Relationships: OCxCanon - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

I first became aware of it when I was struggling with a basketful of laundry.   
I had just loaded the washing machine, cursing to myself (I loathe laundry day) and dropped the detergent pods into the drawer when a loud metallic "BOWG!" made me yelp and jerk away in surprise.  
I frowned at the washing machine but it sat there stoically, looking the same as it always did and it stayed silent when I reached out to push the power button and the familiar hiss of running water filled the room.  
I decided it must have been my imagination and resolved to go to bed earlier.  
  
*

I took the wet clothes from the machine, muttering to myself as I began to sort them.  
"Dryer, clothes horse, dryer, dryer- hmph. What do you think, Simon? Dryer or horse?" I asked my cat, holding up a pair of cotton trousers.  
He didn't answer, being focused on something by the wall just above the washing machine.   
"What have you got there? If it's a spider, you better get rid of it quick!" I told him, but other than his ear flicking, he didn't move.  
Curiously, I approached him to see what he was so intent on and jerked back in surprise for the second time that day as a loud "BOWG!" erupted from-  
-from what looked like a coin sized hole in the wall.   
Strangely, this hole didn't... well, it didn't show the garden outside as I would have expected it to, considering its position. I certainly wasn't about to get too close, but from what I could see, it seemed to show a whole other - unfamiliar - room.  
Was this some kind of portal? To _where_ exactly? And how did it get there?  
Simon startled as a thin, metal rod poked curiously through the hole and swatted playfully at it as it waved around. "BOWG!" said a metallic voice(?) sounding so indignant that it made me laugh. Simon put his nose closer to the hole and received a swat back before the metal rod disappeared again.  
"That'll teach you" I giggled at his surprised expression. "What _is_ this thing though?"  
"BOWG!" A flash of light appeared at the other side and the rod poked through again. I reached out to it almost instinctively and, much to my shock, the tip curled around my finger. But there was no pulling or squeezing as I had half-expected, just a curious little curl, a soft "bowg" and the light again.  
"Well. Nice to meet you too." I had the oddest feeling the light was some kind of... eye. Where did this thing lead to on the other side?  
Simon swatted the metal rod again and it retracted, another indignant "BOWG!" floating metallically through the hole.   
Metallically... was it a robot? That would make sense - the little metal arm, the electronic sounding voice, the-  
"Whatcha got there, little guy?"   
Abruptly, my thoughts froze in their tracks.   
If it was a robot, then there had to be a creator.   
And it looked like they'd just discovered the opening. 


	2. Chapter 2

*

Simon glanced over his shoulder at me and moved closer to the portal.   
"Simon no! Come-"  
I clapped my hand over my mouth, realising I was speaking too loudly and that there was a very loud silence coming from the other side of the wall.  
"Uh-"  
There was a shifting sound, a "bowg" or two then something a lot bigger than the possible robot blocked the light from the other side.  
I scooped Simon into my arms, both of us watching watching the gap with wide eyes.  
"Oh my-" said a clear voice and suddenly the light showed again as a loud clanking started up and the same voice yelled "Sir! Sir, we have a problem! Code: what the heck have you done now!"  
I almost laughed at the sheer exasperation in the tone along with the compete lack of surprise and wondered - not for the first time - what in the world was going on.  
"I'm sorry about this, miss. We'll have things back to normal as soon as we can."  
I pulled my attention back to the hole. The light was only slightly blocked this time, as though whoever owned the voice was crouching a little way away to look into it.   
"That's- okay? I mean. As long as you're not going to hose water through it or anything..."  
"No, don't worry." They sounded amused. "Once we work out what's caused the anomaly, we'll close it up."  
"Anomaly?"  
"This thing." There was a tapping sound on the wall beside the hole.  
"Oh." I tried not to sound excited. "So it is a portal?"  
"Yes, or at least something very similar."  
"That's ( _so freaking awesome oh my gods_!), uh, pretty neat. How did it happen?"  
"I haven't a clue" the voice laughed. "I'm sure the boss will though, he's the genius around here."  
"Where... are you guys? Like... How do you have the technology for this? Are you on a- a whole other world or something?"   
I mean, it would explain the obviously intelligent robot...  
"Well, it depends where you are" the voice laughed again. "We're on Earth. Michigan, actually."  
"Oh." That was a little disappointing, but there was still a portal that linked to a location halfway across the world!  
"Where are you?"  
"Earth as well. Scotland."  
"Oooh, that's interesting!" I heard the click of a keyboard. "I wonder why-"  
"Minion, _what_ is going on?!" came a different voice. "I can hardly understand Playful, he keeps going on about 'furry needles'."  
"Furry needles, sir? I don't-"  
"Uhm. That's probably my fault. My cat swatted his- er- arm when he stuck it through the hole."  
There was a pause. Then: "why is there a hole in my wall and who am I speaking to?"  
"We were hoping you could tell us" said the first voice (Minion?), barely concealed laughter in the tone.   
The light disappeared for a moment then quickly reappeared, as though someone had looked through the hole and quickly straightened again.  
"Minion, _what is going on_?!" the second voice hissed.  
"Whatever experiment you were playing with earlier seems to have caused a bit of an anomaly" said Minion lazily. "The other end opens in Scotland, in this charming lady's home apparently."  
"BOWG!"  
"Playful, get away from there!"  
"Simon, leave him alone!" I yelped at the same time as my cat took a flying leap from my arms to chase the thin metal arm that had reappeared.  
There was a flash of blue light.  
A crackle that sounded like lightning.  
And Simon was gone, replaced by-   
Something-  
Something from a nightmare! A spiked metal form with one glowing eye and a jaw that looked like it could crush bones, a glass dome filled with electrical sparks, trailing wires and metal beneath that could hurt, that could maim, that could-  
"BOWG!" he cried, rushing back at the wall and bouncing off of it.   
"What just happened?!" yelled Minion.  
" _Get it off me_!" howled the other voice.  
"Oh calm down sir, he won't hurt you."  
" _What did you do to my cat_?" I shouted, pushing the metal whatever-it-was out of my way.  
"He's fine" said Minion. "I promise, not so much as a displaced whisker." I heard a purry meow and relaxed a little. "Miss- do you have Playful?"  
I glanced to the side. This twisted metal monstrosity was named _Playful_?  
"If that's what this- this-"  
"He's a Brain Bot" said the second voice. He sounded a little shaky. "An artificially intelligent robot. Is he okay?"  
I looked over again. The Brain Bot had curled in on himself, trying to be as small as possible and making little whirring sounds that sounded almost like... whimpers.  
I reached out and touched the smooth glass, surprised to find it was warm. "Hey. I'm sorry for pushing you. Are you okay?"  
He uncurled a little and his eyelight focused on me. "Bowg?"  
I stroked his glass and automatically scritched under his jaw, and he leaned into the touch.  
"He's fine, I think" I said, sounding just as shaky as the voice on the other side did. "But what happened?"  
"Organic exchange" muttered the second voice. "They must have touched the anomaly at the the exact same time."  
"Then we can swap them back, right?"  
"I- we should be able to-" There was another crackle and a loud yelp.  
"Sir!"  
"What happened?" I cried.  
"About that swap" groaned the second voice.  
I reached out to touch the now-glowing portal and snatched my hand back as electricity shot out of it, barely missing my fingers. I tried again, getting closer this time, but Playful knocked my hand away, bowg-ing loudly.  
"Okay, okay, I won't touch. But then- how do we swap them back?"  
"...I don't know."


	3. Chapter 3

***

I paced along the room, occasionally glancing into the portal as I passed. The voices were muttering to each other, I could hear crackles of electricity and the tapping of keyboards, as well as the occasional exclamation - but whether they were good or bad, I had no idea.   
Playful kept me company, hovering beside my head as I paced and bowg-ing quietly to himself.  
"Oh I can't stand it, what's going on?" I called through the hole on what must have been my fiftieth circuit of the room.  
"We're trying to work out the mollecular composition of the anomaly and why it exchanged your cat for my brain bot but now won't allow anything organic to touch it without a severe shock. Now shut up, I'm concentrating."  
"Very bloody sorry I'm sure" I muttered. "If you hadn't been fannying about with gods know what, we wouldn't be in this mess" I snarked, louder.   
"If you had kept your dratted animal away from the anomaly, we wouldn't be in this mess" he returned, just as snarkily.  
"Ex _cuse_ me? It was _your_ robot that decided to stick its arm through and entice my cat to chase it!"  
"What kind of person lets a pet get that close to something they don't even understand?"  
"One who was confused as to why there was a sudden hole in her wall with a robot on the other side!"  
"Well-"  
"Children, please" said Minion, that exasperated tone back in his voice. "Sniping at each other isn't going to help anyone."  
"My poor Simon, he must be so scared" I said, wrapping my arms around myself.  
"Oh yes, he's terrified. He ate a can of salmon and is now snoring with all four legs in the air and getting fur on my favourite cloak. Clearly beside himself with alarm."  
I spun to reply and instead was faced with Playful and a mug of coffee.  
"Bowg" he said, hovering closer.  
"Wha- oh, uh. Thank you. How did you-?"  
He gestured behind him at the coffee machine, his stance clearly saying 'I thought you could use it'.  
"Uh. That- was sweet, thanks."  
He gave me a funny little bow and went back to hovering around the room.  
I moved closer to the portal, my eyes following him.  
"Hey Minion?"  
"Yes, miss Cat?"  
"Uh. This robot. Does he eat?"  
"No. His body is metal, only his brain is organic."  
"Oh. Do I have to charge him or anything?"  
"No, his battery system is looped and charges kinetically."  
"So will he- like- die if he stops moving?"  
Minion laughed at that. "Nothing like that, he does sleep. They're a little sluggish in the morning but it doesn't take long for them to get back to full power. And sleeping is good for them."  
"Organic brain" I mused.   
"Mhm."  
I frowned. That meant that although Playful was mostly metal, he was partly organic. So...  
"I think I've got it!" I yelped, puzzle pieces clicking into place.   
There was a crash and a loud sigh. "A voice like a drill sergeant? I'd say you're right" said the voice that wasn't Minion, peevishly.  
I ignored him. "Minion, Simon is mostly organic but he had a hip and shoulder replacement when he was younger - they're metal! Might that be the reason the portal swapped them?"  
"I don't-"  
"That's a thought!" said the second voice. "It's definitely feasible..."  
"But for what reason?" I mused. "What were you working on when you made this portal- uh-?"  
"What?"  
"I don't know your name."  
"Oh. Megamind. Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy."  
"I'll just call you Mr Villainy, shall I?"  
"Megamind is fine" he replied, completely missing the sarcasm and I rolled my eyes. "But you may very well be onto something; I was working on teleportation of organic matter via mollecular structure, if my settings were slightly off I could have inadvertantly caused a pulse that latched onto the nearest available matching creature to the Brain Bot I scanned as a sample-  
"Whoa, wait, hold up - how is that even possible? Are you telling me there's nobody in Michigan that has...I don't know, a hip replacement or something?"  
"I'm sure there is, but my Bots aren't human and a pulse looking for similar structure wouldn't have counted them."  
"Oh. So this pulse came all the way to Scotland before finding Simon similar enough to 'latch on to', as you put it?"  
"Don't worry, I stretched before reaching" said Megamind, his tone amused and I couldn't help but laugh.  
"Okay, okay - so if that _is_ the case, how do we get them back to their proper places?"  
"I'm working on it."  
I began to pace again then stopped short.  
"Wait a minute. What do you mean _criminal genius_?!"

***

"It's late, miss Cat. You should really get some rest" said Minion, making me startle as his voice sounded so close.  
"I'm not tired."  
"Bowg" said Playful.  
"You stay out of it" I yawned.   
Tired of pacing, I had brought a chair over and had been sitting staring into the hole for the best part of the day. I couldn't see much, just shadows and movement mostly, but I had managed to work out that the lound clanking was Minion moving around - another robot I assumed, one more advanced than the Brain Bots - and the light, quick footsteps were Megamind. More bowgs sounded and Playful perked up at them.  
"Is that your brothers? Sisters?" I asked him.  
He nodded.   
"You must miss them."   
He whirred and shrugged, his eyelight lidded.   
"Yeah, you'll see them soon. I hope." I sighed and looked back at the portal.  
"I don't think there's anything going to happen tonight. You should sleep" Minion was saying.   
"What about you, isn't it late for you too?"  
"We're five hours behind you, it's barely late evening here."  
"Oh." I yawned again.  
"Go on, I'll alert Playful if there's any changes."  
"Fine, I know when I'm not wanted."  
I stood up and stretched, then made my way to my bedroom. I tried not to look at Simon's fuzzy bed - tonight would be the first time in ten years that he wasn't with me.  
"Bowg" said Playful, fluffing up my pillow and pulling the sheets down a little.   
"You're a helpful little thing, aren't you?"  
"Bowg!"  
"Thank you. Uh. Feel free to- do whatever you do at night, okay?"  
"Bowg."  
I sighed and sank into the mattress, eyes closing.

*

"I think I've managed to replicate the settings and I'm fairly certain I've managed to tweak them so that the pulse doesn't go looking for similarities - it means we should be able to choose which subjects are swapped."  
"Are you sure about this?" I asked, chewing on my thumbnail. Being that Michigan was indeed five hours behind Scotland, I had to pace for a while that morning until Megamind and Minion had come back into the room beyond the portal.  
"...More or less."  
"If you vaporise my cat-"  
"He'll be fine, I promise" said Minion, tapping away on a keyboard by the sounds of it. "Is Playful there?"  
"Yes."  
I had awoken with the little bot snuggled under my arm, much to my surprise.   
"Playful, come to the anomaly please."  
"Bowg!"  
"Simon, just hold on baby..."  
"Everyone ready?"  
I took a deep breath.   
Playful reached out to the portal with one delicate arm.  
"Now!" called Megamind.  
There was a moment of silence.  
A sharp ~crack!~  
A buzzing that sounded like it was simultaneously inside and outside my head and that made my ears tingle.  
Then the floor seemed to shrug as a dull 'whoomp' rang through the air and I lost my balance, yelping in shock as a cloud of dust sprang up from gods know where.  
"Simon?!" I yelled, coughing and squinting.  
"Uhm. No. I- I guess I should have carried the one..."  
Something fell over me, still on the floor as I was and I blindly reached out a hand.  
"What-?"  
I could just make out a lithe figure, gracelessly sprawled and clearly unconscious and I felt my eyes widen. Whoever he was... he wasn't human.


	4. Chapter 4

***

I paced, listening to the frantic keysmashing from the room beyond the portal, Minion's agitated muttering providing a counter to my own pounding heart.  
"...just disappeared, I have no idea where he could be, are you sure you didn't..."  
Simon meowed at me, his eyes huge and I absently reached down to pet him.  
He and Playful had switched as planned, but Minion was panicking over the fact that Megamind had disappeared and I was equally unnerved that there was a strange someone currently spreadeagled on my bed.  
Hey, he was heavier than he looked!  
"...lost in space or time or another dimension or reduced to molecules, how will we ever find him, I don't have the brainpower to redo his calculations, nobody does, he's the most intelligent man on the planet..."  
"Minion, you have to calm down. Wherever Megamind is, panicking about it isn't going to help!"  
He ignored me and continued to mutter.  
A groan from the other room alerted me to the fact that my... guest... was awake and I told Minion I'd be right back. Not that he heard me.  
I took a glass of water with me, cautiously knocking on the door before pushing it open all the way. What if he didn't speak english??  
"Hello? Mr- er- Mr-"  
Another groan.  
"I- brought you some water..."  
I crept closer as I spoke, not wanting to startle him. His eyes were closed but he was pinching the bridge of his nose with a gloved hand and it gave me a chance to study him.   
He was... blue. At least, what of him that wasn't covered by skin-tight leather. He wore a kind of high-collared jumpsuit that had a bright blue lightning bolt emblazoned across the front. It tucked into studded, calf-length boots and elbow length, equally studded gloves, and a metal badge that looked like the letter "M" decorated the small scoop at his throat.  
But his face was most definitely blue.   
He didn't have hair on his head, but long dark lashes lay against his cheek and a little goatee on his chin matched. He reminded me a little of the "grey" aliens of popular culture and my heart went out to him. How in the world had he ended up here? Did he have a family who were panicking at his disappearance? And what had happened to Megamind? If Playful and Simon had swapped places, did that mean Megamind had swapped with this poor soul? How did that even happen?  
"Here. Can you drink?" I asked, slipping my arm under his neck and helping him sit up so I could hold the glass to his lips. "It's just water, it won't harm you. Uh. At least I think it won't-"  
Oh gods what if it did? What if water was poison to him? What if-  
"I'm aware of that, what do you think I am?"  
I blinked. Wait a minute.   
"Megamind?"  
"Yes?"  
He yelped as I let go of him, letting him drop back onto the pillow but sat up again quickly, glaring at me with emerald eyes.  
" _Ow_!"  
"What the hell-! You didn't tell me-" I gestured at him, words failing me.  
"You didn't ask" he shrugged, leaping off the bed so quickly that it made me gasp and throwing me a devilish grin.   
Well. That was true. "I guess I just- I assumed-"  
"You should never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me."  
"What?"  
"It's a pun" he said, crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes. "Assume - it makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'."  
I stared at him and he shifted a little before clearing his throat. "Yes, well. Where does the anomaly appear here?"  
"In- in the kitchen. Above the washing machine."  
"Ah!" He strode confidently out of the door and I gaped after him but before I could get up to follow, he was back.   
"And where is the kitchen?"

***

"...caught in the trajectory I suppose, but look; I'm going to throw you some notes through the anomaly, if you input them into the system it should reverse the beam and I should be able to get home."  
Megamind readied his aim and squinting, threw a folded piece of paper perfectly through the portal.  
"Minion, did you get it?"  
"Ye-es..."  
"Why doesn't that tone fill me with confidence?"  
"Uhm. Because- because I can't input your notes to the system, sir."  
Megamind pinched the bridge of his nose again. "Why not?" He sounded resigned.   
"Be-cause the second pulse knocked out the hard drive. It's fried."  
"Oh, is that all" he waved a hand, pacing back and forth in front of the portal. "You know I always keep handwritten notes, Minion. All you have to do is replace the hard drive and redo the progamming."  
"Well, yes sir, but-"  
Megamind stopped pacing and sighed. "But?"  
"Replacing the hard drive isn't a problem but- your notes are quite extensive, sir. And I have to completely redo the programming, as you said-"  
"How long, Minion?"  
"..."  
"Minion. How long?"  
"A week is going to be pushing it..."  
There was a beat of silence while this sank in and then I cleared my throat.  
"Um. This is probably a stupid question, but- I mean if you're in Michigan, why can't we just book you on the next flight?"  
Megamind stared at me for a long moment and I could almost sense Minion doing the same.   
"What?" I asked, resisting the urge to recoil.  
"Uh. Miss Cat, you- you do realise why we call the anomaly 'the anomaly', right?" asked Minion.  
"Because it links two separate points that have no right being so close?" I hazarded.  
"Well yes, there is that. But-"  
"But they're not in the same dimension" Megamind finished quietly. "Did you really think we were from the Michigan of _this_ world?" He allowed himself a grin.   
"Wait. What?"  
Megamind gave me a pitying look. "My dear, don't you think you might have heard of a blue supervillain and his loyal fish if that was the case?"


	5. Chapter 5

*

I stared at the ceiling. Today... had been weird and it looked like the next week was just going to get weirder.  
I had set Megamind up in the guest room, given him a pair of loose trous and a faded tee shirt to wear for the night and left him blinking after me as I shut myself in my bedroom, mind whirling.   
I didn't realise I had fallen asleep until I startled awake and wondered for a moment why I felt so off-kilter, until the murmurs from the direction of the kitchen made the memories come flooding back.  
Simon chirruped sleepily from his bed and I rubbed his ears as I passed. He was certainly no worse for wear after his adventure in-  
Gods. In another _dimension_?   
I mean.   
I had always been a big believer in the Multiverse Theory but to have it confirmed so dramatically was a whole different story.  
And I was a little worried that a self-confessed supervillain was now in my kitchen, probably plotting-  
I stopped short at the door.  
Megamind was sitting in the chair I had pulled up to the portal, wearing the trous and tee shirt I'd offered, feet propped on the kitchen table and eating ice cream from the tub while he spoke presumably to Minion.  
"-calculations were fine; I shouldn't have been standing so close, that's all. I didn't want the cat to be hurt so-"  
He glanced around and nearly fell off the chair, his eyes going wide.  
"Oh! I- did we wake you? Uh-" He was trying to hide the ice cream carton behind his back and I almost laughed.  
"No, I just woke up. And you can help yourself to food, stop trying to hide that - you'll get all sticky."  
He looked a little sheepish but placed the carton on the table and offered me the spoon almost as an afterthought.  
"No thanks." I did giggle this time. "Hi Minion."  
"Hello Miss Cat."  
"How's the reprogramming going?"  
"I haven't even replaced the hard drive yet. I'm waiting for delivery of one with enough memory."  
"Oh-"  
"I'll be as fast as I can. I know it's a bit of an upheaval-"  
"It's nobody's fault" I sighed, then cast a look to Megamind. "I'm sorry for implying that earlier."  
He waved a hand, unable to speak around the spoon in his mouth and I giggled again.   
Supervillain? Seriously? He was an adorable dork.

***  
I called in to work the next morning, not wanting to leave my guest alone all day. My boss was understanding when I explained that my 'cousin' had shown up unexpectedly in the night after a bit of trouble at home and said I could take a week's holiday, which was a worry off my mind.   
The portal was quiet and I assumed Minion was asleep- or at least powered down. (Do robots sleep?)  
Yawning, I popped on the coffee machine and forked Simon's breakfast into his bowl as I waited, the morning quiet soothing my nerves.  
Though that didn't last long.   
We both jumped as three loud bangs rattled the front door in its frame and Simon streaked under the table as I frowned and stalked down the hallway.  
"Who the f-"  
"Cat, it's me! Open the door, what's going on, you haven't been-"  
I unlocked the bolt and threw the door open.  
"-answering your phone" finished my boyfriend loudly.  
"Will you shut up!" I hissed. "Jesus christ, it's barely eight o'clock, are you trying to wake up the whole block?"  
"I was worried!" he said, pushing past and staring around my apartment.   
"Come in, won't you" I snarked in a low voice, closing the door.  
"Why haven't you answered my texts? I must have sent you half a dozen since yesterday!"  
"I didn't have a chance to check my phone" I shrugged. "It was kind of a hectic day and I ended up with a headache."  
"Oh. Are you okay now?"  
"Yeah, though I'm in dire need of caffeine." I walked around him and into the kitchen, the scent of fresh coffee immediately making me feel better.  
"Then why didn't you answer this morning? Pour us one, will you?" Johnny asked, making himself at home.  
"Don't you have work?"  
"Yeah, but-"  
"Then you don't want to be late" I said, casting a glance over my shoulder and hoping he didn't hear the sounds of movement from the guest room.  
Hoping in vain.  
"What's going on?" he asked, brows drawing down.  
"Nothing! My- uh, my cousin showed up unexpectedly last night and-"  
"Which cousin?"  
"Uh- we've just... gotten in touch recently, you don't know him."  
"Oh really." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the guest room door. "That's convenient."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"I haven't seen you for days, you don't bother answering your phone and now your male 'cousin' is cozily set up in your apartment, just the two of you, huh?"  
I sighed and put my cup down before turning to him. "Johnny. I've been _working_ the past few days, I told you why I didn't answer my phone yesterday and I wasn't about to let someone who doesn't even know the area try to find a hotel or something when I have a perfectly good guest room."  
"And I'm very grateful for that" said a voice and I felt my heart freeze.   
A silence fell over the room, one I didn't dare break as Johnny stared at the doorway, no doubt taking in the fact that my 'cousin' was clearly not human. Footsteps padded over to stand just slightly behind me and Megamind's voice came again.   
"Any chance of a cup, Cat? I could use the caffeine."  
I took a deep breath, excuses and stories and downright lies flitting through my mind as I poured and turned around-  
And nearly yelped in shock.  
The man now standing in the middle of my kitchen gave me a wink and a somehow familiar smirk as he took the cup from my lax fingers before I could drop it.  
"And just who the hell are you?" asked Johnny, in a dangerously low voice.  
I was kinda wondering that myself.  
"Like Cat said, I'm her cousin" said the stranger airily, turning to him. "Second cousin once removed, to be precise. We only just- discovered each other and I was in the neighbourhood so she kindly let me stay over." He offered a hand. "Bubsy. Pleasure to meet you."  
I gaped at him, pieces falling into place as my mind sorted through the details. The voice was the same, the emerald green eyes hadn't changed, even the innate grace of his walk and stance were the same - but gone was the baby blue skin and somewhat unusual build; Megamind looked fully human.  
He reminded me of Clopin from the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame actually, with his shoulder length black hair and coffee-coloured skin. Quite a lot of which was currently on show as he had apparently acquired a loose vest and some shorts from somewhere.   
Johnny didn't take his hand, choosing instead to give a narrow-eyed glare that didn't seem to bother Megamind in the slightest. He wrapped his hand back around the cup and stepped back slightly to stand beside me, giving me a wink as I caught his eye.  
"Right" I said. "Well. Yes. Uh. Now you've met my- guest, Johnny. And you should really head off or you'll be late for work!"  
"I-"  
"Come on, shake a leg!" I said, getting behind him and giving him a push toward the front door. 'Bubsy' gave him a little wave as he threw a last glare over his shoulder. 

*  
"He might be your cousin Cat, but I don't like him and I don't want him staying here alone with you" Johnny asserted, turning to face me as I pulled the kitchen door closed.  
I felt my hackles raise a little. "Excuse me? Since when do you get a say in who stays in _my_ apartment?"  
"I just mean- I don't trust him."  
"You don't even know him" I retorted, ignoring the little voice in my head that said 'neither do you'. I knew it was stupid, he had told me himself that he was considered a supervillain in his own world, but-  
He had fed my cat salmon. He'd given him a place to sleep. He had watched over Simon as he was returned to me, even though it ended up backfiring. He was a little obnoxious, sure, but it was in a way I found amusing more than anything else - it was pretty obvious his tongue was firmly in his cheek.  
I tuned back in to the conversation just in time to hear Johnny say "-like the idea of you being alone with him, or of him staying here, I-"  
"Too bad" I interrupted, losing patience. "I'm not throwing him out. He's only staying a week, it means you can go drinking with your friends in peace."  
His expression darkened and I knew I'd gone too far as he took a step toward me. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
"N- nothing, I was just-"  
"Just kidding?" he growled, grabbing my wrist and twisting hard. I bit back a yelp but couldn't help the tears springing to my eyes.   
"It was a joke, that's all, I-"  
"We've talked about your 'humour' before, haven't we?"  
"I- yes- I'm sorry-"  
He held my gaze for a long moment, gave my wrist another painful wrench and let go.  
"Good girl. And actually, that does sound like an idea." He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes and leaned forward to kiss my cheek, ignoring the way I automatically flinched back. "Any problems, if he puts one toe out of line, you call me."  
"Okay..."  
He nodded and strode out of the door, slamming it behind him.

*  
I walked back to the kitchen, swiping at my eyes before opening the door.   
Megamind - or 'Bubsy' - turned and gave me a grin.  
"Well. That was a surprise" I said, raising an eyebrow at him.  
He held up his left hand, the back of it turned toward me to show what looked like a wristwatch. "Standard disguise generator. It's a useful little invention for when I don't want attention."  
" _You_ not wanting attention..?" I smirked and he burst out laughing.  
"Well, for when I'd rather be incognito then."  
"That's fair." I lifted the coffee pot only to accidentally slam it back down as my wrist sent a shooting pain up my arm and Megamind moved closer, his expression concerned.  
"I'm okay! I have a little arthritis in my wrist" I said lightly. "It's playing up today."  
"Oh. Do you have a bandage?"  
"Yeah, I'll strap it up in a minute" I said, holding it behind my back and taking a step away from him. "Can you- please go put some clothes on, you're distracting."  
He laughed at that and twisted the dial on his watch. There was a flash and a crackle, and the disguise flickered away to reveal Megamind's real self still grinning at me.   
"Is that better?"  
"Uh, no?" He was still wearing the loose vest and shorts. "You're not any less distracting like that, you know."  
I was expecting him to laugh or make a joke or even just to give me a smirk. Instead, his expression went blank and the tips of his ears turned a pretty shade of lavender.  
I blinked and grinned. "Megamind... are you blushing?" I teased and now his cheeks flushed too.  
"No! I- I know I'm the most handsome supervillain on the planet after all!" He struck a pose, chest thrown out and gave me an eyebrow raised grin.  
"Uh-huh. That's a very pretty purple, I have to say..."  
He wrinkled his nose at me and waved a hand. "Yes, well, uh- I- should go and get dressed, we can't have you fawning over me all day!"  
I giggled as he strode from the room, still blushing.


	6. Chapter 6

***

"The new hard drive has arrived and is connected, sir. I'm getting as many bots to help as I can supervise-"  
"I know, Minion. Just do your best."  
"We will."  
Megamind turned to me and shrugged apologetically. "I'll try not to disrupt things too much. Don't think you have to babysit me or anything."  
"I don't - though I admit I'm a little wary of leaving a self confessed supervillain alone" I teased and he stuck his tongue out at me.   
"I'm hardly going to pick a fight with ordinary citizens, it would be boring."  
"Fair enough" I giggled, picking up my purse. "I'm heading out to the store, do you want me to pick you up anything special?"   
I mean. Obviously he ate as normal. Right?  
"Root beer?" He grinned when I blinked at him. "It's my favourite."

*

The flat was quiet when I got back.  
Simon trotted out to chirrup hello and I dropped a bag to scritch his ears.  
"Megamind?"  
No answer.  
I glanced into the guest room as I passed but it was empty and I felt my heart rate speed up slightly.   
The portal was still in the kitchen when I went to unpack the bags, obviously I hadn't been dreaming.   
So where was Megamind?  
"Minion?"  
"Yes?"  
"Uh, hey. Did you talk to Megamind after I left?"  
"Yes, he's gone out."  
"Oh."  
There was an awkward pause, then Minion sighed. "Miss Cat, try not to worry. He has the disguise generator and he won't cause any trouble. As he said, picking fights with ordinary humans isn't his style."  
"Oh, I didn't-"  
"Of course you didn't." I could almost feel him rolling his eyes. "The boss has a rather odd moral code, but he does have one and harming innocents is the opposite of it."  
I began to put the groceries away, musing on this. If I was honest, I didn't think for a moment that Megamind would have been trying to hurt anyone; I'd simply been worried about him getting lost. But Minion's immediate assumption that I'd been thinking the worst gave me pause. Did he think that little of me- or was it just something he'd gotten used to people assuming and therefore sought to clarify straight away?  
I wasn't sure which I preferred.

*

A series of light knocks on the door a few hours later made me startle, but Megamind's cheerful call of "I'm back!" made me relax again.  
"We're in the kitchen!" I called.   
He appeared in the doorway as Bubsy and grinned at me, dropping the bags he carried before twisting his watch dial and sparking back to himself.  
"Ollo!"  
"Ollo yourself! Did you have fun?" I asked, eyeing the bags.  
"Yes! Though _how_ you people understand each other sometimes is a mystery for another day."  
I laughed at that. "I don't envy you, to be honest. I was born and raised here and sometimes even _I_ have no clue what people are saying."  
He was rummaging in the bags and straightened with a wicked smile, hiding something behind his back. "Close your eyes!"  
"What? No!"  
"Aw, go on! I have a surprise for you."  
I gave him a suspicious look but he pouted and deliberately made his eyes huge until I couldn't help but laugh.  
"Fine, just stop with the puppy eyes!"   
I closed my eyes, listening warily, and felt something soft drape across my shoulders.   
"Okay, you can look!"  
The scarf he'd carefully placed was beautiful. Shifting from deep purple to a delicate lilac in ways I had never seen, it was softer than silk and almost could have passed as a blanket if it wasn't so light.   
"What-?"  
"I saw you have a collection of scarves in the closet" he said, nodding across the hall and I suddenly realised why his leather jacket looked so familiar. "Then I saw this and thought you might like it."  
"It's beautiful, but you didn't have to do this..."  
"You didn't have to let me stay in your home" he shrugged. "Oh and look at this-" He bent and rummaged in another bag. "This was _surreal_ , let me tell you."  
He held up a DVD case and I gasped.   
His face was on it.   
A little exaggerated and cartoon-y but - it was definitely him, and the film's title was-  
"Where- what-?!"  
"I have no idea!" he said excitedly. "But this is amazing, I didn't even know I was _known_ in this world! Can we watch it, can we can we can we?"  
"Well, of course, I-"  
"Minion! Look at this!" He held the DVD case up to the portal and I heard Minion gasp.   
"Sir, that's incredible!"  
"I know! I'll tell you how glorious it is after we watch!" He spun and picked up the other bags. "The rest is just clothes." He caught my questioning look. "If I'm going to be stranded here for a bit, I wanted some casual clothes. My jumpsuit is more of a uniform."


	7. Chapter 7

***

I placed the popcorn between us on the couch and handed Megamind a bottle of root beer while I twisted an Irn Bru open for myself.  
"What- in the world is _that_?" he asked, eyeing it with an expression of distaste that made me giggle.  
"Irn Bru. Scotland's other national drink" I said, holding it up like I was in a cheesy advertisment.  
"It looks like a radioactive tangerine drowned in it."  
I nearly spilled the bottle as I doubled up laughing. "Probably tastes like it too" I snorted. "Wanna try?"  
" _No_ thank you!" He wiggled excitedly as I pressed play on the DVD remote and I hid a smile as the movie began.  
" _MY end starts at the beginning. The VERY beginning_!" said the voice from the TV.  
"Well. They got your voice down well" I commented as Megamind stared.  
"Yes..."  
I winced as the opening scenes ran, my heart going out to the cute little kid on screen and the man beside me was silent.   
"Is- that accurate?"  
"Somewhat. My adopted father - the Warden, that is - was a lot nicer. At least when I was a child."  
"Oh. Your planet really is-?"  
"Gone, yes. Minion and I are the only- well. Never mind. It looks like it's about to get more interesting!"  
We watched the interaction between screen-Megamind and the Warden, laughing at the antics and quips he threw out until the scene changed.   
"Ms Ritchie certainly mangled that story."  
I snorted. "Not much of a writer, is she?"  
He shrugged and his face lit up. "Ooh, look, there's Minion as he is now! Goodness, they got him rather well!"  
I blinked. "Did you build his suit?"  
"I did! When I was about thirteen" he laughed. "Since then, we've just upgraded it - he prefers it to the more human shaped one I built for him."  
"It's certainly more intimidating!"  
"That's probably a factor - hey look, they even got my Brain Bots! Oh god, I don't refer to myself as 'Daddy', what are they doing?" he cringed good-naturedly as I laughed at that. "Ugh, they got Ms Ritchie well. Wait - did he just call her 'Temptress'?"  
"Yea, I think so..."  
"Why-? That makes no sense, why would he call her that and why right then? Who _writes_ this nonsense?"  
"Eh, maybe he was being ironic."  
We watched for a few minutes, then Megamind grimaced. "Oh, I think I know what's coming..."  
"Oh geez... Looks like your Death Ray worked..."  
"Yes... well. Sort of."  
"Huh?"  
"Watch and see."  
*  
The story unfolded and although the Megamind beside me sneered at a few points, he said it was fairly accurate.  
Then came a scene where his movie counterpart went to blow up the Metro Man statue in the centre of town and he leapt to his feet. "That's not what happened, where did they pull this rubbish from?" He stared incredulously as screen-Megamind pretended to be the museum curator and began plotting to make a new superhero, apparently inspired by the female character, whose name I had already forgotten.  
"No, no, no! I never blew up the museum! I never even got there! This is all- this is all fiction!"  
"Well I mean, they probably don't know you're a real person. You know, in another world."  
He flopped beside me again, still focused on the events on the screen. "I don't believe this. Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me..."  
I turned back to the screen. Movie-Megamind was apparently flirt-fighting with the female character, sometimes as Bernard and sometimes as himself while she desperately tried to be funny - or maybe she was trying to be tough? - and threw herself into his arms for no apparent reason.  
"Man, she's annoying. Is she a real person in your world?"  
"Yes, she really is a reporter. At least, she was. I haven't heard from her since Metro Man was caught by my Death Ray."   
He frowned at the screen and we went quiet as we watched developments.   
*  
"I don't believe this" Megamind muttered.   
"Oh man, that... must be uncomfortable..."  
"Why are they desperately shoe-horning a silly romantic subplot? And why with Ms Ritchie? It makes no sense!"  
"Romance sells I guess." I had to agree that it made no sense, considering she didn't appear to like movie-Megamind much and that she didn't even _know_ it was him. "Uh oh..."  
" _You are forgetting your place Minion_!" said screen-Megamind, and the real thing leapt to his feet again.   
"Forgetting his _place_?! What on earth is that supposed to mean, he's not some kind of- of servant you great idiots!" He paced in front of the TV screen. "This is a lot of utter nonsense- what kind of brain dead fool would come up with this, why would anyone consider it even remotely feasible?!"  
"Uh. It's a film where the main protagonist is a blue alien" I giggled and he scowled at me though he couldn't stop a smirk.   
"And that, as is plainly obvious," he gestured to himself, " _is_ feasible!"  
"Fair point" I laughed, watching the female lead screeching as the new superhero threw her around the streets. Gods she was annoying.  
Megamind sat back down, his expression twisting as he turned the volume down a little and we watched for another short time.   
*  
"Oh... that's not good" I muttered.  
" _Do you really think I would ever be with YOU_?" said the female lead and I flinched.  
"Wow. What a cruel bitch. That was a bit unnecessary," I frowned. "She was happy enough to stick her tongue down your throat a minute ago." Megamind burst out laughing and nudged me, making me grin and turn to him. "What? It's true. Bit of a manipulative sort, ain't she? I mean she was happy enough to let everyone think she was dating Metro Man as long as it benefited her too."  
Megamind shrugged. "I never knew her well enough to know. I didn't especially like her, she was just a sure-fire way to get Metro Man's attention; a means to an end." He giggled mischievously. "I _am_ a villain, after all."  
"Nah you're not" I replied absently, watching screen-Megamind sadly walk through the rain and feeling an odd urge to hug the version beside me. "It's pretty damn obvious you had no intention of actually harming anyone." I turned to find him staring at me. "I mean, if they got you accurately there. Your personality seems pretty much the same."  
"Yes. Well." He cleared his throat and looked away.   
*  
"Ah! Look! _This_ is accurate! Only it took place in the dressing room of a little club, when I recognised 'Music Man' and went to confront him!"  
"So he didn't actually die?"  
"No, he faked it. He didn't want to be a hero anymore."  
"Fair... Oh, does she have to be there?"  
Megamind laughed and sipped his root beer. "For the plot point, I suppose so. Stupid as it is."  
" _I'm the bad guy_!" said screen-Megamind. " _I don't save the day, I don't fly off into the sunset, and I Don't Get The Girl_."  
Ouch.  
This time I did reach out and hug the man beside me. He gave me a startled look but lightly hugged back until I let go.   
"What was that for?"  
"Because I can't hug the screen version of you."  
"It's all fiction, Cat. It didn't happen" he said, his voice gentle.   
"I can still be sad for him."  
He smiled and I looked away, glad the room was dim.  
*  
"Ugh, her again. Why's she sliming her way in now? Titan should have let her splat on that pavement and done us all a favour" I said, irritably.  
"You got me" Megamind laughed. "Though other than her, this is quite accurate."  
"Good" I said, watching as the City unveiled a stature of Megamind and Minion. "Wait - what do you mean this is accurate?"  
He threw me a smirk, his eyes dancing. "When they decided to recognise Minion and I as the official Defenders of the City, this is pretty much how it went down."  
"Whoa, what, wait a minute!" I began, laughing. "You told me you're a supervillain! Where did Defender of the City come from?"  
"That's our official titles" he said smugly. "Supervillain just sounds cooler. And I like the aesthetic better."   
He gestured at himself, realised he was currently wearing jeans and a hoodie and frowned. "You know what I mean."  
"Damn you got some moves" I said, not paying attention. Screen-Megamind was dancing to MJs "Bad" and I was loving it.  
"Oh that's definitely accurate" said Megamind, raising an eyebrow. "But my god, most of that made me look like an idiot."  
"Eh, it wasn't that bad. Screen you is cute. And the soundtrack was pretty good."  
"Of course, and it was, but the plot really needs an overhaul." He removed the disc from the player and made a face at it. "4/10 at best."


	8. Chapter 8

***

"Aw man, I _told_ you I can't bowl to save my life" I groused, watching as yet another ball merrily rolled into the gutter.  
Megamind burst out laughing and came to stand beside me. "I thought you were being modest!"  
"No, I really do suck at it."  
"I'm afraid that's becoming more and more obvious" he teased, dodging the swat I half heartedly aimed at him and picking up a ball from the rack beside us. "Come here and let me show you how it's done."  
"You're already bowling at 280-" I began and trailed off as he came up behind me to put one hand on my hip while the other held the ball in front of us.   
"Here-"  
"Uh..."  
"Hold it properly, you nerd" he teased, and I couldn't help but laugh as I found the finger holes. "Alright, now-" His free hand skimmed across my stomach, pulling me close against him while he helped me support the ball with the other. "That's a better stance. You don't have to swing your arm back so widely, all you're going to do is wrench your shoulder." He gently guided my arm back about half the amount I had been doing so until then. "It's all in the wrist, you see? Be loose until the last moment and then-" He manoeuvered my arm into a swing, flicking my wrist just as I let go of the ball which spun smoothly down the alley and sent seven out of the ten pins crashing.   
"Yes!" Megamind cried, triumphantly punching the air. "A vast improvement!"  
"Um..."  
He grinned at me then looked concerned. "Cat? You good?"  
"...Yes."  
I watched his expression turn from concern to amusement as he realised how much I was blushing after his impromptu bowling lesson. "Do you want to try the next one by yourself or would you like another example? Correct me if I'm wrong but that seems to have warmed you up."  
"Ah piss off" I laughed, stepping away from him and covering my flaming cheeks with both hands. "Next time I'll feel _you_ up in the middle o' a bowlin' alley an' we'll see how warm ye get!"  
"Your accent gets stronger when you're flustered" he commented, then yelped and pouted as I elbowed him.  
"Yer a rotten troll" I told him, still laughing, and he grinned.   
"Guilty, my dear" he winked, before sending all ten pins crashing down with the ball he expertly flung at them.   
*  
" _What_ did you say that was called?"  
"Calimari!" I said, offering a tentacle cluster. "Basically fried octopus."  
"Ew! No thank you."  
*  
"No, wait, aim left! _Your_ left, you dork!" I laughed, clapping my hands.  
"It's not as easy as it looks!" Megamind panted, trying to control the water cannon in his hands.  
"It doesn't look easy!" I snickered and he threw me a dirty look.  
"It's... too... strong!"  
"Here, let me help!" I put my hands over his unthinkingly, then felt myself blush furiously again as I realised this meant I was essentially hugging him from behind, my chin on his shoulder and his back pressed against my chest.  
I wasn't alone this time though; when I dared to sneak a glance at him, his cheeks were flushed too.   
"Aim- aim for the left!" I said and we worked the cannon together, aiming it at the target which went down in a short time.  
"Yes! Now the bigger one in the middle!" Megamind cried, laughing.  
We made short work of the game and the operator looked up from his phone long enough to pass me a big white teddy bear with a yellow ribbon.  
"Teamwork!" said Megamind holding up his hand for a high five, which I provided with a giggle.  
*  
I sneaked around the corner, keeping my back to the wall, senses on red alert. A small group jogged past me, but Megamind wasn't among them and I used them as cover to get to the next wall.   
A shadow loomed in front of me and I fired automatically, aiming for its centre with a yelp. A flash of bright light almost blinded me and it went down with a shriek of "not fair! You were sniping!"  
"No I wasn't, sniping is when you go out of sight and shoot without announcing yourself!"  
"I'm telling!" they yelled, running off.  
"Go ahead" I sniffed. "I have bigger fish to fry." I grimaced and offered a silent apology to Minion for that expression.  
I walked carefully to the next gap in the course, and the world lit up around me, the circuit board on my chest beeping loudly.  
"Gotcha" Megamind said, right in my ear.  
"Nooooo, you rotter! You were hiding in there?"  
"Just waiting for you to come along, stalking on little cat feet" he giggled. "I win!"  
*  
"Wait, no, hold on- how do you get on these things?!"  
"Hang on to the pole and swing your leg over the saddle" I giggled, demonstrating.  
Megamind leapt onto the Carousel horse's back and hung there for a moment, arms and legs dangling.  
"Little help?"  
I was laughing too hard to move but he managed to wriggle into position and pouted breathlessly at me. "Gee, thanks for the support!"  
"I'm sorry" I gasped, trying and failing to stop laughing. "But you looked like someone had bagged you as a hunting trophy!"  
He yelped and clutched at the pole as the Carousel began to move, but soon relaxed into the rhythm of it. "Is now a good time to mention that I know a great horror story about a Carousel?" he asked, throwing me a wicked grin.  
*  
We flopped onto the overstuffed sofa, exchanging smiles.  
"What can I get you?" asked our waitress, holding her pad at the ready.  
"Oh, just a chai latte for me please" I said, straightening up and smiling back.   
"You got it. And for you sir?"  
"Capuccino, extra cinnamon please!"  
"I'll bring them over in a few minutes."  
"Man, I'm knackered" I giggled.  
"Me too! This was really fun though."  
"Definitely need this caffeine!"  
Megamind chuckled and swiped his hair off his brow. "I don't know how people handle having all this hair" he complained.   
"Too bad you can't forgo the disguise generator" I mused.   
"I think I'd draw a lot of attention!"  
"Damn straight, you'd have groupies trailing after you like a some kinda rockstar." I sat up curiously. "Is that what it's like at home?"  
"Not really. People say hello or strike up conversations if I'm around them long enough; I'm pretty well known. But they know I won't tolerate being followed around or mobbed when I'm off duty. Some of them are still rather intimidated by us."  
"Aw, I'm sorry..."  
"Don't be!" Megamind waved a hand. "It's no bad thing, it means I don't always have to go incognito."  
"That's fair. You get to have a private life too, huh?"  
"Well-"  
"Here you go!" said our waitress, depositing mugs on the small table in front of us.  
"Ooh, thank you!"  
"You're welcome, enjoy your drinks!"  
I picked up my latte and motioned Megamind to continue.  
"I was just going to say I don't really have much of one" he said, cupping his hands around his mug and sitting back.  
"No?"  
"Nah. Minion and I go out, but it's usually to events and things in our official capacity."  
"Ohh. I didn't realise."  
He blinked at me for a moment then looked surprised before laughing. "No, no, not like that! I meant we go out as in-" he made a gesture that encompassed the coffee shop and the surrounding area. "As in we hang out, not-"  
"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!" I laughed.  
"God I'd have loved to have seen his face if you'd said that in front of him" Megamind chortled. "No, we're... like brothers, I imagine."  
"That's good. I'm glad you both have that."  
A comfortable silence fell as we sipped at our drinks. "Do you have siblings?"  
"Mhm, two brothers. They live in the next city over though, I moved here for work a couple of years ago."  
"Doesn't that get a bit lonely?"   
"Nah, phones are a thing and so is the internet, you know? Plus it means I don't get them dropping by unexpectedly."  
"Unlike your boyfriend, hmm?"  
"I'm sorry about that" I said sheepishly and he laughed.   
"I'm just teasing, you've nothing to be sorry for."  
"No, you do have a point though. It's why he doesn't have a key to my apartment." And why my locks are reinforced.  
I didn't realise I had said the second sentence out loud until Megamind's stricken look. "What-?"  
"I'm just kidding" I laughed. "My locks are reinforced because I live alone with my cat."  
"Oh. That makes sense."  
My wrist twinged a little but I ignored it. 


	9. Chapter 9

***

"I think maybe another two days, sir. We're working as fast as we can and-"  
"I know you are, Minion. I appreciate it, truly. Though don't forget to rest as well, we can't have you getting burned out."  
"I'm about to power down for a while" he said, and I heard the yawn in his voice. "Are you holding up okay?"  
"Yes, I'm in good company." Megamind smiled at me as I glanced over my shoulder from the cooker.   
"He's just saying that because I'm making pancakes" I called, and heard a snort of laughter from the portal.  
"Hey! That's only partly true!"  
"You'll never get rid of him if you make him pancakes, miss Cat" Minion giggled. "Anyway, goodnight!"  
"Goodnight!" we called in unison and I giggled as I dished said pancakes onto plates before serving them at the table.  
"Alexa, shuffle music please."  
"Shuffling songs from your library" Alexa replied as Megamind offered me the syrup bottle with sticky fingers and the first notes sounded.  
"How did you manage to get syrup on your nose?" I asked peering at him, then laughed as he immediately touched it, depositing syrup there. "Gotcha..."  
He glared at me for a moment but couldn't hold it and held the bottle high with a wicked grin. "Do you know how sticky this stuff is, my dear?"  
"Yes- and don't you even think about-" I yelped as he shook it a little, sending syrup droplets across the table. "Megamind, I mean it-"  
"What are you going to do?" he asked, leaning over the table and shaking the bottle again. I pushed my chair away, giggling madly, and he leaned further before fully standing up.   
"No!" I stood up too, and quickly stepped across the kitchen away from him but he followed just as quickly, trapping me between him and the counter.  
"Didn't you tell me you hated laundry day?" He swayed the syrup between us.  
"I swear, if you come anywhere near me with that-!" My threatening tone was rather undermined by the laughter shaking my voice.  
He took another step and I tried to run past him to safety but he caught me and spun me around, holding me against him and making pouring motions with the bottle while I tried to struggle out of his grasp.  
"Noooo! Get off, you rotter!" I howled, feeling the sticky syrup drip onto my collar bone.  
"Apologise!"   
"Never!"  
Both of us were laughing too much to really put up much of a fight and we didn't hear the front door opening for the music.  
"What the fuck is going on here?"  
Everything seemed to freeze.  
Johnny stood in the doorway and I wasn't sure if it was the image of a completely undisguised Megamind that was causing the darkness in his face or the fact that we were tangled together the way we were.

*

"Don't be so stupid" I scoffed. "It was _Bubsy_! He's going to ComicCon this year and he wants to go as Megamind, we've been working on his costume since he's been here. It must be pretty good if it fooled you so well!"  
( _Believe me, please believe me, it's a costume, just a costume_.)  
I didn't dare look away from him, even though he had dragged me to the other room and was now holding my upper arms so tightly that his fingernails were breaking the skin.  
( _He's human, he's not the most wonderful being I've ever_ -)  
I shut that thought off before I could complete it.   
( _Believe me, believe me. It's a costume, nothing more_.)  
"I was across the room, it wouldn't have fooled me up close" Johnny snapped and I heaved an inward sigh of relief. "That still doesn't explain what you were doing in his arms like that, both of you half dressed."  
"It's pyjamas in my case" I said steadily, ignoring the pain in my arms. "And the tank and shorts are just what Bubsy's wearing under the jumpsuit of his costume."  
"Why were you flaunting yourself in front of him?"  
"I wasn't, we were just messing around-"  
"What exactly did he intend to do with that syrup, huh?"  
"He was kidding, I made him get some on his nose and-"  
" _Don't lie to me_!"  
"I'm not, I swear" and I hated myself for beginning to cry but now I could feel blood trickling down my arms and it _hurt_.  
"Remember what happened the last time you lied to me. Couldn't speak for a week, could you?" Johnny let go of one arm and brushed the tears from my cheek, his smile widening as I flinched. "What were you doing in his arms, Cat?"  
"We were just messing around" I said again, tears flowing freely. "It was just playful, nothing else."  
The fingers caressing my cheek moved and I couldn't stop the yelp of pain as they buried in my hair.  
"It didn't look playful."  
"It was, I promise, w- we were just-"  
"If you want to keep your hands attached to your wrists, I suggest you let go of her right now."  
Johnny let go of me and spun to face the now open door. "Oh here's the big hero" he sneered. "Couldn't even get out of that ridiculous costume before coming to save the day, huh? Pathetic. Grown men don't go to idiotic conventions in _costumes_."  
"No, apparently they prefer abusing women."  
Megamind took a further step into the room. I'd believed him when he said the citizens of his home were still intimidated by him, but I hadn't really understood.  
Now I did.  
His lithe grace had become the predatory stalk of a panther. The cold fury in his expression would have stopped a reasonably astute steamroller in its tracks; his usual cocky charm and barely concealed humour were gone. He looked like a creature from a story, some dark angel that no halfway intelligent person would consider crossing.  
"What are you gonna do about it, huh? Freak."  
I wanted to stop it, to stop _him_ , Johnny outweighed him by a good hundred pounds and was a hand's breadth taller, but my voice wouldn't work and now Megamind's smile glittered darkly.   
"Where would you like to start?"   
Megamind took a step forward and Johnny swung at him, a smile beginning to pull at his mouth.  
Megamind caught his wrist without so much as flinching. Johnny yelped and dropped to one knee as he twisted it hard, the studs of his gloves piercing Johnny's skin.  
"Do you know Cat told me she had a little arthritis in her wrist? She's a good liar. I almost believed her." He twisted again and Johnny let out a squeal of pain. "People as amazing as her should not have to lie for paramesium lowlife like you."  
Abruptly he let go and stepped back, loosely crossing his arms over the lightning bolt on his chest.  
Johnny watched him warily and I could sense his anger bubbling under the surface calm.   
"I see how it is. Trying to move in on my girl, huh? Are you really her cousin cuz if you are that's disgusting-"  
Megamind rumbled a laugh at that. "Paramesium was obviously too generous. This is no costume, human." He leaned forward, as though about to bestow a secret. "That means I'm definitely not Cat's cousin, incase you can't work that out."  
Johnny's eyes widened and his gaze slid over to me. "He's not even human..? Your taste in men always did suck."  
I almost laughed at that despite my heart pounding so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest. "I mean, I can't roast you any worse than you just roasted yourself."  
"I can" Megamind chuckled darkly, bringing Johnny's attention back to him a split second before he was hauled to his feet, Megamind's gloved hands around his arms.  
Johnny looked surprised, then amused, then bewildered before he opened his mouth to scream in shock and pain.  
"If you make a sound, I will up the power and I will microwave your internal organs where you stand.  
Johnny bit back the sound but his eyes were watering. "P-please..."  
Megamind turned his gaze to me. "How long, Cat?"  
"Wh- how long-?"  
"How long has this sack of- how long has he been hurting you?"  
I shook my head, tears in my eyes again and that was all the answer Megamind needed.  
Johnny let out a low groan and the buzzing sound I'd barely been aware of increased.   
He let it go on for a few moments, then dropped Johnny to the ground again. His legs gave way and he slumped into a heap but Megamind wasn't finished yet.  
Leaning forward, he caressed Johnny's cheek with the back of his hand, then suddenly grabbed a fistful of his hair and hauled him to his feet once more. Johnny instinctively threw out his hands, looking for balance in his awkward position, for purchase, and one came into contact with Megamind's chest.   
"Get. Your hand. Off me."  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"  
"Yes, you are. The sorriest excuse for a man it's yet been my misfortune to encounter. And I grew up in a _prison_."   
He looked disgusted as Johnny began to whimper and turned to me once more. "Cat?"  
"Y-yes?"  
"Would you like me to carry on and really make him sorry, or would you prefer I simply throw him out of your life for good?"  
The quirk of his eyebrow told me what to do and I approached them both carefully until I was in Johnny's eyeline.  
"Well. I can't deny this has been fun and I'd kinda like to see what other tricks you have up your sleeves-"  
"No" Johnny whined. "Please-"  
"-hmm, but since he asked so nicely..."  
"You're lucky she has such a big heart" said Megamind, winking at me so Johnny didn't see.  
Without further ado, he took Johnny by the shirt front and dragged him down the hallway before unceremoniously throwing him out of the open door. 


	10. Chapter 10

***

"I'm okay- ouch."  
"Yes, clearly. Shut up and let me get this band aid on properly."  
" _Ouch_!"  
"Oh stop being a baby."  
"You need to work on your bedside manner!"  
Megamind chuckled and absently brushed a light kiss on the palm of my hand as he smoothed the sticky plaster patch over my upper arm.   
"There, done. You're all bandaged up... unless he hurt you anywhere else?"  
"Uh, n- no, just my arms" I said, trying not to blush. "Thanks to you."  
"Yes yes, you owe me big" he said, rolling his eyes as he packed various sterile packets back into the first aid box. "Don't be so silly, I was hardly going to stand there and let him treat you like that."  
"You were amazing. Terrifyingly so. To think I was worried he'd hurt you."  
"Tch, please." He waved a hand as though the very thought was ridiculous. "I might lack a little brawn, but I have what counts." He pointed to his head with both hands at my questioning look. "Brains, my dear. And technology." He nodded to the gloves he'd discarded on the coffee table. "My tricks aren't always 'up my sleeves'."  
"That's... incredible" I said, eyeing them. "But still, they wouldn't have helped you catch his wrist like that or literally throw him out of the door."  
"No, but that ridiculous film _was_ right about me growing up in a prison" he smirked. "I had a lot of very scary 'uncles' who were only too happy to teach me how to fight vermin hand to hand."  
"Remind me to send them flowers if I ever end up in your world" I winced, flexing my arm.  
Megamind smiled and gently brushed my hair from my eyes. "If you ever end up in my world kitten, I'll make sure nobody hurts you again."  
I swallowed hard, feeling my cheeks heat. "I- think you've already taken care of that..."  
( _Were his eyes always that beautiful? Gods, his tender smile was making me want to_ -)  
I cut off the thought again and he startled slightly before giving me a much more familiar grin. "Well, it was fun" and I had to think for a moment to pick up the thread of the conversation. "He deserved a taste of his own medicine." He stood and picked up the box. "Now. What do you say to breakfast and a lazy day, hmm?"  
"Oh-! Our pancakes will be cold by now. Soggy too" I grimaced at the thought. "Tell you what; I'll whip us up a new batch, you find us some good movies and the lazy day sounds perfect."  
"You're on!"

*

"Cat, how do you feel about doll horror films?" Megamind called from the lounge.  
"They scare me half to death!" I called back, flipping the pancakes.   
"Oh. That's a no then?"  
"Absolutely not, I love them!"  
I heard his snort of laughter from where I stood, and grinned even though he couldn't see me. The pancakes were almost done and I had raided the cupboard for snacks too - if we were going to marathon movies, might as well make it worth it.   
I took a few minutes to change out of my pyjamas (Johnny did have a point that they were a little inappropriate for mixed company but I honestly hadn't thought about it) while the last batch cooked, throwing on some loose trous and a tee instead. I winced at the pain on one side of my head, but it felt a little better as I released the pressure from the braid I'd been wearing.   
"I hope you're... hungry..." I trilled, walking into the lounge with the balanced plates and goodies and stopping in my tracks as I saw what Megamind had been doing.   
"What do you think?" he grinned, throwing his arms wide.   
The blanket fort sat squarely in the middle of the room, the space inside seeming warmer and cozier than the outside. He'd used a lot of the scarves from my collection as well as a bunch of pillows and blankets and what looked like the sofa and its cushions to build it. He had even strung fairy lights around it and set up my laptop.  
"Come on!" he tugged my arm gently. "It's really soft and comfy, I promise!"  
"You- how-"  
"Don't you like it?" he asked anxiously. "I thought it might be fun-"  
"I _love_ it!" I squeaked, putting the plates down and throwing my arms around him. "You utter complete dork, this is awesome!"  
I felt more than heard his surprised laugh and he grinned at me when I pulled away to look at him.   
"I hope you don't mind, but I took that big blanket from your room?"  
"I don't mind at all!" I laughed, bending to look into the tent-like structure.  
"Myow!" said Simon, happily curled in the middle.  
"Myow to you too! Did you lend a paw to build this?" I asked, reaching out to scritch his ears.  
"Of course!" said Megamind. "He did all the important parts. So if it collapses..."  
"Uh oh is that a danger, Simon?" I giggled, crawling in and turning to offer a grin. "Well come on, my hero - grab your pancakes and get in here!"  
Megamind laughed again, handed me both plates and flopped cross-legged beside me before taking his back.  
"Your hero votes we start with the silly comedies and work up to the horrors as it gets dark, what do you say?"  
"That sounds like a plan!"

***

I was warm. Cozy.   
I lay on something soft and there was a presence behind me that made me feel... safe.  
The room was dim when I eventually worked out my eyes were closed and opened them, slightly surprised to find myself in a tent.  
No.   
Not a tent.   
A blanket fort.   
Memories flowed gently back and I smiled, realising I must have dozed off at some point and that Megamind had draped a loose blanket over my shoulders.  
I turned, idly wondering what he was watching now only to find him close beside me, sharing the blanket and also fast asleep with Simon snuggled in at his chest.  
I bit back a squeel incase I disturbed either of them and resisted the urge to snap a photograph with my phone - taking pictures of someone while he was asleep was kinda creepy, even if he was adorably spooning a cat.  
I blushed a little when it occured to me that watching him sleep from less than a foot away was just as weird, but I didn't really want to look away either.  
I loved how his lashes contrasted with his skin where they lay against his cheek, his face relaxed and peaceful in the absence of his usual teasing smirk.  
There was something almost ethereal about him; I had noticed it when he'd come stalking to my rescue like an avenging angel and now, seeing him at rest, it was even more apparent.  
He was beautiful.  
"Angel" was definitely accurate.  
"Hmph, then I must be a fallen one."  
I startled at his voice, gasping and sitting up and he opened one eye.   
"Do you always talk to yourself like that?" he asked languidly, grinning now.  
"I didn't- I wasn't... was I?"  
"You were. I'm flattered, I have to say."  
"Oh my gods, I'm so sorry-"  
"For what? Being complimentary?"  
"No, for creeping on you while you were sleeping."  
He snorted and reached out a hand to gently pull me back down, facing him again.  
"I wasn't sleeping" he smiled softly.   
"Mrow" said Simon drowsily, uncurling from Megamind's chest and pacing down to lie at our knees instead.  
"-though I can't speak for him."  
That made me giggle and I reached down to stroke Simon in apology. "He'll get over it, I'm sure."  
Megamind glanced down and laughed, seeing how Simon had immediately dozed off again. "Looks like you're right."  
"Hey, I- never thanked you for looking after him for that day and night."  
"Hmm?"  
"When he got- when he ended up in your-"  
"Oh, that." He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, his fingers cool and gentle on my cheek. "There's no need to thank me."  
"I do anyway."  
"Then I should thank you for letting me stay here."  
"Where else were you going to go?" I laughed. "Your only way home is here."  
"There are a few other advantages too."  
"There are?"  
"Yes. You make the best pancakes."  
"Surpassed only by your skill in building blanket forts" I giggled.   
"And bowling, of course!"  
"Of course - but not so much at climbing onto carousel horses...!"  
He swatted lightly at me and we grinned at each other knowing we were deliberately being silly, a sweet kind of tension between us.  
"Megamind, I-" I began.  
"Cat, I-" he said at the same time and we both laughed.  
"You go."  
"I- was just going to say- that I'm sure we could find a way to keep in touch once Minion finishes the programming again."  
"You think so?"  
"It shouldn't be too difficult. Would that- interest you?"  
I held his gaze for a long moment, struck once again by how beautiful his eyes were.  
"Very much."  
"I'm pleased to hear that..."  
We'd moved closer, somehow, as we'd talked; both of us had curled an arm under our heads and I realised if I leaned forward just a tiny bit more-  
"BOWG!"  
We both yelped, shooting into a sitting position in unison and scaring Simon so badly he yowled and shot out of the room in a whirl of fur.  
"Bowg! Bowgbowgbowgbowg!"  
"What-? Playful? How did you-?" Megamind laughed as he fended off the excited bot who was reminding me very much of a puppy at that moment - if he had a tail I knew it would be wagging.  
He whirred and clanked and turned to me to push under my arm too, still bowg-ing loudly and making me laugh as he nearly pushed me over in his excitement.  
"I see you, little guy" I laughed, hugging him and scritching his glass. "How'd you get here, huh?"  
Megamind stood and offered me a hand to pull me to my feet. "It can only mean one thing!" he grinned.

*

The portal had grown. It was glowing bright blue and was about the size of a doorway, showing a lot more of the room than I had yet seen. Minion stood a little way inside, grinning triumphantly as Megamind, Playful and I skidded to a stop at the kitchen door.   
"Your last few pages of code were more or less the same as the first, sir! I only had to change a few lines, so it was a matter of copying and pasting!"  
"Oh, well done Minion! You fantastic fish, what would I do without you?"  
"You'd be stuck there forever" Minion preened, then took a longer look at us. "Though perhaps that wouldn't have been such a bad thing?"  
"We can get to that later" said Megamind, waving a hand and I giggled as his ears turned lilac. "We-"  
A loud crash interrupted him and Minion's eyes widened. "What-?" He turned to a screen beside him and a horrified expression crossed his face. "Oh no-"  
"Minion, what was that?"  
"Sir, your code - it's fine if you wanted to have a small doorway-"  
Another crash, this time on our side and I clutched at Megamind for balance as Playful bowg-ed worriedly.  
"-but keeping one this size open is destabilising both universes' structure!"  
"That shouldn't happen!" Megamind cried, steadying me as the whole room shook again.  
"BOWG!" said Playful, gesturing at the portal, his meaning clear.  
Minion grabbed at something we couldn't see, grunting slightly. "Sir, come on! If you don't come back now, it's going to shake itself apart!"  
"I-"  
"Bowg! Bowgbowg!"  
Megamind turned to me, his eyes wide. "Cat-"  
Without a word, I turned and ran to the guest room, quickly gathering what I needed.  
"Here! Heroes need their uniform!" I bundled his jumpsuit, gloves and boots into his arms, as well as an electric blue scarf and he stared at me until the room shook again.  
"But-"  
"Go! You'll find a way back!"  
"But if I don't-"  
"You will" I said firmly, pulling him toward me so our foreheads touched."You will."  
He looked like he was going to say something else, but the whole room shook and a yelp from Minion made him spin and take a step toward the sparking portal.  
"Sir!"  
"Bowg!" Playful glided through and turned, gesturing with all his limbs, pleading to be followed.  
Megamind took two quick steps and threw his uniform through the gap before turning and racing back to me.   
"I'll find a way" he breathed, taking my hands and squeezing them tightly between us.  
( _Was that my heart pounding like that, or his_?)  
"I did it once-"  
"You better" I whispered back.  
He leaned toward me, almost unsure, until I closed the space between us; just the softest brushing of lips but it sent electricity sparking through me-  
-and then he turned as a crash sent us both stumbling, the portal was glowing brighter than ever and I could just make out his darkened figure stepping into his own world-  
-there was a crack, a surge of blinding light-  
-and it was gone.   
He was gone.


	11. Epilogue

***

"You okay Cat?"  
"Hmm? Oh. Yes. Thanks."  
My colleague peered at me doubtfully. "You seemed miles away."  
"I'm just thinking about  
( _him_ )  
-about the upcoming holiday, it's going to be good to get some time off."  
"Oh yeah, god, you deserve it. It's been what, nearly a year since you had-"  
"Yea, that's right" I interrupted, smiling to soften my rudeness.   
( _I didn't need reminding that it had been nearly a year since I saw him_...)  
"Anyway, I'm going to head off, get to this first appointment, so-"  
"Are you sure you're o-"  
The phone rang just then and I took the opportunity to wave and quickly get out of the office, breathing a sigh of relief. 

*

"Simon, I'm home!" I called, lugging a bag of groceries through the door that evening.  
"Mrow" came a rather morose voice from the guest room.  
"Aw. He's not here, little buddy" I said gently, stopping at the door as Simon prowled around the room.  
"Myow."  
"I know. I miss him too" I sighed. 

*

"...reports of strange blue lights appearing all over the city, just for seconds at a time, then disappearing without a trace." The newscaster smiled, clearly unbothered. "Spooky goings on for the week approaching Hallowe'en" he said. "But nothing to worry about, right Carl? Tell us more about this odd weather!"  
"You're right, George! According to meterology reports, this is actually a rare phenomena called ball lightning..."  
Their voices faded out as I stopped listening. The words "blue lights" had made me tune in, but weather happenings failed to hold my interest - rare or not. 

*

I bolted upright in bed, my heart hammering, but my blackout curtains made the room so velvety dark that I couldn't see a damn thing.  
"Alexa, turn lamp on please" I croaked, groggily.  
"Okay" said my Echo and the room filled with soft light that made me squint regardless.  
Everything was familiar.  
There was my bookshelf, stacked three deep and spilling over as usual.  
There was the old packing crates I had cleaned up and varnished, that held my collection of crystals and runes.  
There was the full length mirror, flashing innocently in the dim light-  
Wait.   
At that angle, it wouldn't be reflecting my soft lamp so-  
I turned and glanced out of the slightly ajar room door - I kept it open for Simon to come and go as he pleased.  
Where was the light coming from?  
I threw my blankets aside, grabbing my steel baseball bat from under the bed as I kept my eyes on the hallway and carefully padded down toward the kitchen.  
Blue light spilled from the doorway as I eased it open further.  
"Simon? That you?" I whispered.  
"Don't worry. We managed to catch him this time, _before_ he went on another sojourn into my world."  
My heart leapt at the familiar teasing tone and the brightness of the light faded until I could see without squinting.  
Megamind was holding Simon in one arm, his grin wide as the cat purred loudly. He held a small box in his cat-free hand which he pointed at the now-dimmed blue light, and it faded completely.  
"At last. I was beginning to think we'd have to search the entire city by latitude and longitude!" he said, clipping the box to his belt.  
"I- what-?"  
"I forgot to write down the exact co-ordinates of your apartment" he giggled sheepishly.  
"I-"  
I stared at him, not daring to believe this wasn't a dream and his smile faded a little, turned uncertain.   
"I-'m sorry it took so long. I had to find a way to create a portal that wouldn't destabilise our worlds, and then I had to find you; it's not that easy when you have to open one in a slightly different location every time..." He trailed off as I stepped closer. "You're not going to use that on me, are you?"  
"Huh? What-" I realised he was eyeing the baseball bat loosely hanging at my side.  
Simon purred louder as I burst out laughing and set it on the table. "No, you dork, I'm not going to use it on you. Maybe I can use it on myself and prove I'm not dreaming though..."  
"There's a less painful way to prove that."  
He leaned close, hesitated for a heartbeat, and kissed me softly; I felt his smile when I wrapped both arms around him.  
Simon m'yapped to be put down when we pulled away, making us laugh and Megamind touched his forehead to mine.  
"Proof enough?" His voice was soft.  
"Hmm, no, I think I'm going to need a little more" I replied just as softly and he threw me a devilish smirk, the expression so familiar that it made my heart skip a beat.  
"Well I am a genius, my kitten. I'm sure we can figure out something."


End file.
